When the Past Still Hurts: How EMDR Offers Relief and Renewal

There are some memories that don’t fade with time. They stick. Like emotional glue, they hold onto your body, your thoughts, and your nervous system—popping up during quiet moments, when you least expect it, or when you’re just trying to move forward.

Maybe it’s something big—like a traumatic event or loss. Or maybe it’s something that didn’t seem “big enough” to be called trauma, but still left a mark. 

A breakup that shattered your sense of self. Childhood moments that made you feel invisible. A car accident that made you afraid to drive again. The past doesn’t have to be catastrophic to be painful—and when it’s unprocessed, it can keep showing up in your present.

This is where EMDR therapy can help.

Short for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, EMDR therapy is one of the most effective tools for healing trauma—and not just the kind with a capital “T.” 

Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, PTSD, grief, phobias, or even chronic stress, EMDR therapy works to rewire how the brain stores and responds to painful memories.

Let’s explore what actually happens in a session, how it works, and why so many people describe EMDR as life-changing.

What Happens in an EMDR Session?

So, what’s an EMDR session really like? Spoiler alert: it’s not hypnosis, and you’re not just “talking about your trauma.” In fact, many people are surprised by how structured and empowering the process is.

Here’s a general breakdown of what happens in an EMDR therapy session:

1. You Start with a Safe Foundation

Your therapist won’t dive straight into the heavy stuff. The first few sessions are all about building trust, learning grounding skills, and making sure you feel safe. EMDR works best when your nervous system feels supported.

2. You Identify a Target Memory

When you’re ready, you and your therapist will choose a “target”—a memory, image, or emotion that feels painful or triggering. You’ll explore the negative belief tied to that memory (like “I’m not safe” or “I’m not good enough”) and the emotions or body sensations that come with it.

3. You Begin Bilateral Stimulation

This is the heart of EMDR therapy. While thinking about the memory, your therapist will guide you through bilateral stimulation—usually through eye movements or tapping.

This process helps your brain “reprocess” the memory—essentially allowing it to move out of the emotional centers of the brain (where it’s stuck) and into the logical, present-day part of your mind.

4. You Let the Brain Do Its Work

You don’t have to talk through every detail of the memory. Instead, you simply notice what comes up—thoughts, feelings, sensations—and allow the brain to process it in real time. Your therapist will guide you gently through the process, checking in as needed.

5. You Land in a Place of Peace

Eventually, as the memory gets reprocessed, the emotional charge begins to fade. The negative belief may be replaced with something more empowering, like “I am safe now,” or “I did the best I could.” The body begins to relax. The story loses its grip.

And no, it doesn’t make you forget the past. It just makes the past feel like the past—instead of something you’re reliving on a loop.

What Is the EMDR Therapy Method?

EMDR therapy is based on the idea that trauma and emotional wounds get “stuck” in the brain, especially when the nervous system is overwhelmed and unable to fully process the experience. This can happen with big events (abuse, accidents, loss) or smaller, chronic situations (bullying, emotional neglect, repeated rejection).

The EMDR therapy method includes eight structured phases:

1. History & Treatment Planning – You talk about what brought you to therapy and identify possible targets for reprocessing.
   
   
2. Preparation – You learn grounding techniques and build internal resources for managing distress.
   
   
3. Assessment – You and your therapist select a memory to target, along with associated beliefs and body sensations.
   
   
4. Desensitization – This is the bilateral stimulation phase, where the memory begins to lose intensity.
   
   
5. Installation – A positive belief (like “I am safe” or “I’m worthy”) is strengthened in place of the old one.
   
   
6. Body Scan – You check for any lingering tension or emotional discomfort.
   
   
7. Closure – The session ends with grounding and calming techniques.
   
   
8. Re-evaluation – At the next session, you revisit the memory to see how you feel and assess whether more processing is needed.
   
   

The magic of EMDR therapy is that it works with your brain’s natural healing process. It doesn’t force insight—it facilitates integration. It’s like helping your brain clean out old emotional “files” and put them where they belong.

What Is the Success Rate of EMDR Therapy?

Let’s talk about results—because we all want to know if something actually works, right?

Research shows that EMDR therapy is highly effective for trauma and PTSD. In fact, some studies report that up to 90% of single-trauma clients no longer meet the criteria for PTSD after just three to six sessions.

Here are a few more standout facts:

• The American Psychological Association, the World Health Organization, and the Department of Veterans Affairs all recommend EMDR as a first-line treatment for trauma.
  
  
• EMDR has also shown promising results for anxiety, depression, panic attacks, phobias, grief, and performance anxiety.
  
  
• Many clients report faster progress with EMDR than with traditional talk therapy alone.
  
  

Of course, every person is different, and not every trauma can be resolved in a few sessions. But for many, EMDR therapy offers hope and healing in ways they never thought possible.

Can EMDR Trigger Dissociation?

This is an important question—especially for folks with a history of trauma, complex PTSD, or dissociation.

The short answer: EMDR therapy can bring up intense emotions and dissociative symptoms, but when done with a skilled therapist who understands your needs, it’s designed to be safe and supportive.

Here’s how therapists work to prevent dissociation:

• Thorough preparation: Before starting any memory processing, therapists help clients build a “toolbox” of coping strategies and grounding techniques.
  
  
• Pacing: EMDR isn’t rushed. You control the pace and can pause at any time.
  
  
• Therapist attunement: Good EMDR therapists watch closely for signs of dissociation and adjust the process accordingly—using slower stimulation, more grounding, or different techniques.
  
  

If you’re someone who dissociates easily, it’s not a reason to avoid EMDR—it’s a reason to find a therapist who specializes in trauma and understands how to work with dissociation safely.

When done correctly, EMDR therapy can actually help reduce dissociative symptoms over time by integrating the painful experiences that created them in the first place.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck in the Past

Painful memories don’t just live in your head. They live in your body, your reactions, your fears, your relationships. And even if your mind says, “That was years ago,” your nervous system might still be saying, “We’re not safe.”

EMDR therapy helps you bridge that gap.

It doesn’t erase what happened—but it does change how it lives in you. It helps you move from reactivity to resilience, from overwhelm to ownership, from surviving to thriving.

So if the past is still hurting—even years later—you’re not broken. You’re human. And you deserve relief.

You deserve to feel whole again. You deserve the peace that’s waiting on the other side of healing.

And EMDR therapy might just be the key.